***** China Express, 5748 West Flagler Street, Miami, Florida 33144, (305) 639-8281.

China Express is a Chinese takeout joint. Its got 3 tables- but takeout is the game.

The other day Jeff Eats had “some” business to take care of -right by China Express…so I picked-up egg rolls, pork fried dumplings, honey garlic chicken, pepper steak, shrimp with lobster sauce, shrimp chow mein, roast pork fried rice–and made it a working lunch at my friend Michael’s office.

Real easy to score this joint…everything was delicious, the portions were huge, cheap prices.

You can check menu/prices/other info at chinaexpressmiami.com.

Like I said 2 seconds ago, this is a takeout joint-so it won’t play for 98.89% of you. For the other 1.11% of you-you now know where to get some real solid Chinese takeout.

Right about now, some of you guys are “thinking” hey Jeff pretty skimpy review. To you guys I say, Chinese takeout, delicious food, huge portions, cheap prices-by my friend Michael’s office…and if you insist, the fried pork dumplings and honey garlic chicken were worth the trip alone (which Jeff Eats had to make anyway)-down to Miami.

China Express is open Sunday-Thursday 11am-10pm, Friday-Saturday 11am-11pm.

***** DISH OF THE WEEK (Sunday- 9/14/14).

One of Jeff Eats’ favorite menu items…

CHUCKY BURGER (1 lb. bacon cheeseburger with 1-side)
$12.95

Burgers & Suds
360 East McNab Road
Pompano Beach
(954) 586-4258
burgerssuds.com
Latest Review: 5/10/14

You will love Burgers & Suds. Its burgers are off the chart.

*Famous People.

Here’s a recent email from reader JStern.

Jeff,

Just killing some time and I’m reading about your entertainment business/legal background. Just curious as to some of the famous folks you have met?

*****

JStern,

Like you,, I’m gonna kill some time here and give you a “partial” list. Just so you know, the listed folks aren’t “friends” they are just people that I-casually met or had some-type of business/legal dealings with.

In no particular order of importance…

Ed Kranepool
Ron Swoboda
Jackie Leonard
Totie Fields
Willie Mays
Richard Nixon
Sid Caesar
Ed Koch
Lee Majors
Nelson Rockefeller
John Lindsay
John Gotti
Michael Douglas
Jacob Javits
Patrick Moynihan
Joe Frazier
Muhammad Ali
Roberto Duran
Chevy Chase
Jerry Lewis
Geraldo Rivera
Cal Ripken jr.
Chubby Checker
Bill Medley
Al Pacino
Dustin Hoffman
Al “Grandpa Munster” Lewis
Smokey Robinson
Mike Tyson
Steven Segal
OJ Simpson
Mel Torme
Burt Reynolds
Carl Bernstein
Gilda Ratner
Ringo Star
Patrick Swayze
Regis Philbin
Sonny Bono
Cher
Malcolm Forbes
Whitey Ford
Eddie Fisher
David Brinkley
Larry Holmes
Don King
Gladys Knight
Jerry Lee Lewis
Joe Namath
Judge Wapner
Andrew Dice Clay
Bruce Springsteen
Joe Biden
Buffalo Bob Smith
Frankie Avalon
John Travolta
Mickey Rooney
Roseanne Barr
Greta Garbo
Woody Allen
Liza Minnelli
Rock Hudson
Michael Jordan
Cousin Brucie
Roy Orbison
Anna Nicole Smith
Yogi Berra
Robert De Niro
Bill Cosby
Al Sharpton
Hulk Hogan
Dan Marino
Jon Bon Jovi
Sugar Ray Leonard
Jake LaMotta
Rocky Graziano
Dick Clark
Gilbert Gottfried
Mickey Mantle
Bo Diddley
Chuck Berry
Michael Bolton
Pete Rose
Kirk Douglas
Warren Beatty
Jim Belushi
Little Richard
Martha Reeves
Carl Perkins
Leslie Gore

“This” list and 15 cents (or whatever a NYC Subway ride goes for these days) will get me on the Subway.

Thanks for killing sometime with me!

Finally, if any of you guys have “rubbed shoulders” or for that matter anything else with a famous person, please share the name/story!

“

* Name the 4 or 5 Things You Need At The Perfect Tailgate!

Please be as creative or stupid or sensible as you’d like.

Jeff Eats…
Charcoal grill
Folding table/chairs/tents/paper goods/utensils
Portable satellite tv
Beer/liquor/soft drinks/water
Hamburgers/hot dogs/corn on the cob/chicken wings/beef ribs/sides/desserts

* Tapestry: A Tribute To Carole King.

If you are a fan of legendary music genius-Carole King…go see Tapestry: A Tribute To Carole King!

Trust Jeff Eats on this one…this “tribute” show will absolutely blow you away and have you “believing” that Carole King is right in front of you!

Jeff Eats is thinking that most of you guys know that-one of Broadway’s hottest shows is “Beautiful The Carole King Musical”–no bs-ing here, the Tapestry show plays at the same level.

You can catch tickets by calling (561) 859-0846 or online at fau.edu, poprockdoowopp.com.
*****

Date: October 18, 2014
Time: 8:00 p.m.
Venue: FAU-Carole & Barry Kaye Aud. Boca Raton, Florida
A “beautiful” re-creation of her timeless hits by the live vocalists and musicians of Tapestry, direct from California in their only east coast appearance this season!

Carole King is without question the most successful and revered female singer-songwriter in pop music history. More than 400 of her compositions have been recorded by over 1000 artists, resulting in 100 hit singles — from “Will You Love Me Tomorrow”, “Take Good Care of My Baby”, “Run to Him”, “Crying in the Rain”, “The Loco-Motion”, “Up on the Roof”, “One Fine Day”, “I’m Into Something Good”, “Just Once in My Life” and “Don’t Bring Me Down”. Her 1971 album “Tapestry” took King to the pinnacle, winning all 3 of the key Grammy Awards — record, song and album of the year as well as best female vocalist honors for King. With more than 25 million units sold, Tapestry remained the best-selling album by a female artist for a quarter century and King went on to amass three other platinum and seven gold albums.

Tapestry: Tribute to Carole King faithfully recreates the glorious sound of a live Carole King concert, leaving you with memories of the great music she wrote and recorded, including “You’ve Got a Friend”, “Natural Woman”, “It’s Too Late”, “So Far Away”, “I Feel the Earth Move” and “Beautiful”, the title song of the mega-hit Broadway musical about the life and times of one of America’s most prolific, honored, and revered singer-songwriters. Enjoy an evening of the signature sounds of Ms. King with this must-see show that everyone calls “Some Kind of Wonderful.”

***** Shavedway Subs, 4900 West Atlantic Boulevard, Margate, Florida 33063, (954) 977-3019.

First things first, Jeff Eats doesn’t “get” the name Shavedway…if you ask me, rather odd!

Anyway,

The other day Jeff Eats did a lunch at Shavedway Subs and I gotta tell you-this joint makes awesomely delicious subs.

In a nutshell, cold/hot subs-wraps, salads. Order at/pickup at counter. Handful of tables. Very reasonable prices. You can check menu/prices/other info at shavedway.com.

The “taste test” included- tuna salad sub, meatball sub, Cuban sandwich…like I said 2 seconds ago, awesomely delicious.

Look! Jeff Eats has eaten in more sub joints than my waistline cares to remember. If you think that I can “recall” each and every outing, you’re nuts. It may sound crazy, but sometimes I gotta read jeffeats.com just to keep my facts straight. With the aforesaid (that’s a lawyer’s “word”) in mind, I think I’m gonna remember Shavedway Subs- 1. because its sandwiches were delicious, 2. because of its rather odd name… Ah-So!-that’s why they named it Shavedway!

Shavedway Subs is open Monday-Friday 10am-5pm, Saturday 10am-3pm, closed Sunday.

* The Motowners.

A recent email…

Jeff,

My name is __________ and I am the president of ___________HOA located in Delray Beach.

At a recent BOD meeting, it was voted that we should schedule a themed music event for all residents. The event will be held outdoors on a Saturday night (in either January or February) at our community pool. We don’t have a social director and have never planned such a large event in our history.

The BOD would like to hire a Motown band for 3 hours.

I was wondering if you might be able to recommend a good band for the event?

Food for the event will be handled by an outside caterer and we are expecting close to 300 to attend.

Our budget for the band is $________.

Your help would be greatly appreciated.
*****

Based on your location and budget…take a very close look at The Motowners based in South Florida (blackswanspecialevents.com).

The Motowners play doo wop, disco- and do tributes to Motown acts such as The Temptations, The Supremes, Smokey Robinson, The Four Tops and Michael Jackson. Jeff Eats has seen the group a number of times and it puts on a good show and is extremely professional. Just so you know, The Motowners have both a live band show as well as a track show-with the track show costing less than the live band-either way-both are well in the budget that you mentioned. In addition, there are different 5-10 performer configurations that you can choose from. Personally, I think that the male vocalist unit is the strongest.

Finally, if this group is of interest to you, I would suggest that you go see them “live” before making a final decision.

Good luck with your event.

* COMCAST.

To save time Jeff Eats is going to assume that you guys know what COMCAST is.

In my case, THEE-WORSE-COMPANY-IN-THE-UNIVERSE-TO-DO-BUSINESS-WITH! No bs-ing here, I can’t think of another company with such piss-poor service and a customer service department that borders on being criminally insane…there is absolutely no way that Comcast’s telephone agents can sound as stupid as they do- and tell such boldface lies- without corporate approval!

Just a heads up…

If you are a Comcast subscriber and “on” the same page as I am…here’s a way for you to get ACTION ON YOUR PROBLEM.

When you got a problem, like your bill is all f-ed up, don’t call 1-800-COMCAST. I repeat don’t call 1-800-COMCAST! Instead call 1-215-286-1700. That (215) number is the main telephone number for Comcast’s corporate headquarters in Philadelphia. When the phone is answered by the operator just tell him/her–“I’m a Comcast customer who is having trouble with customer service and I would like to speak with someone in the Office of The President.” Guaranteed you will be “connected” with a “special trouble shooting representative” who will immediately solve your problem/or take your info-and within 24 hours you’ll get a call from a Florida Comcast representative who WILL GET YOU STRAIGHTENED OUT!

Consider this COMCAST story as a Jeff Eats’ public service announcement.

* Discounts, Deals, Coupons, Rebates- Oh My!

I think that most of you guys know that Jeff Eats was “born” in 2006…

Prior to birth, the soon to be Jeff Eats couldn’t have given a good-crap about Discounts, Deals, Coupons, Rebates…lucky for me, the future Mrs. Jeff Eats was a Discounts, Deals, Coupons, Rebates’ fan.

To make a long story short, Jeff Eats’ birth and the US financial collapse of 2007-2009–got me real interested in Discounts, Deals, Coupons, Rebates.

With the above in mind, Jeff Eats has a “DEALS” category. If and when you guys come across Discounts, Deals, Coupons, Rebates that make sense–tell me and I’ll pass them along to other Jeff Eats’ readers.

While I’m on the subject of “trying” to save money, be sure that you closely check your credit card monthly bills-you’d be surprised as to how many errors “those” guys make and trust me, those mistakes-don’t break in your favor. Another area you should be looking at is, cable and phone bills. Trust me, a simple call to either vendor “might” result in your getting discounts you never even thought about. For example, a recent Jeff Eats’ bitch session with Comcast resulted in them -just giving me a $20 a month credit for the next 12 months…a recent Jeff Eats bitch session with ATT had it lowering my landline long distance service from $34 a month to $17. Another area, all of these late fees/convenience fees you get charged-just bitch and threaten to cancel the “service” and you’ll see them disappear.

You know and I know- that when you buy something, someone out there would have been willing to sell it to you-cheaper…the goal is for you to find that “cheaper” guy.

Real fast…be smart and check your auto policy. Trust me that $500 collision deductible should be $1,000 and you’ll save premium money. How about on that car lease, the roadside service you pay for on your insurance policy-check, but I’ll bet you already get that service as part of your lease deal. Take a look at your homeowner’s policy…there are tons of things you can do to cut that bill and and when you go to make a claim- you won’t be any worse off-for having made the changes. Be smart, review auto and home owner policies with “licensed agents” and they’ll save you plenty of money.

For you Medicare Folks…Supplement F is the best! Right! Well how come you didn’t buy Supplement F High Deductible? Google-Time..cheaper and you get the same coverage.

Not trying to be Angie’s List or nothing…just be smart, question all of your bills and you’ll save money. Guaranteed!

Now,

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that no business likes to lose a customer. With that in mind, don’t be scared to threaten your cable company, phone company, newspaper, gardener, a/c guy, “you name the business” that you’ll probably be moving-on, unless they can do something on the price-front to make you a happy camper!

Anyway…

Like I said 14 seconds ago, if you see a real good discount, deal, coupon, rebate pass it along…I’m thinking that the money is better served in your pocket than the business owners’ bank account.

Finally, if you need a BED BATH & BEYOND COUPON-just write me…Mrs. Jeff Eats has a kitchen drawer full of them-suckers!

* Swingin’ Medallions.

Jeff Eats recently received the following email…

Hey Jeff,

Long time reader first time writer.

First I want to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. As a 17 year Miami resident you have often pointed me and my wife in the right restaurant direction. Before Miami we both lived in Marlboro, New Jersey and both attended Rutgers graduating in 1972.

Since graduation we have stayed in pretty close contact with a number of former classmates. Surprisingly a number of them and a number of our former Marlboro neighbors now reside right here in south Florida.

Now for the real reason for my email.

My wife and I will both be celebraing our 65th birthdays in 2015. We want to throw a huge joint birthday party at our community’s clubhouse. It will be catered and we are thinking that we will have close to 135 people. Forgetting about our 3 kids and 2 grand kids the average age is probably close to 65. We would like to hire a great band for the party with a 1960’s frat/rock theme. We have checked out a number of local bands which include several mentioned in your blog but we would prefer a band that people haven’t yet seen and who really know how to party. As for cost this is a once in a lifetime event so we are open to spending a decent amount for the band.

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on the band.

Please feel free to call me at (305)_______.

Thank you again,
JH
*****
JH:

First, let me be the first to wish you and your wife Happy Birthday.

Just so you understand, local bands are much “less expensive” to book than bands from outside the area. With that in mind, if you still want to book a band that “most” of your guests have never seen…your request for a recommendation is a no brainer.

SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS

You can check the Swingin’ Medallions who come out of Greenwood, South Carolina at medallions.com.

Trust Jeff Eats on this one, I’ve seen the Swingin’ Medallions and for frat/rock-there are no better party animals. Not sure if you know-the Swingin’ Medallions had the 1966 million-seller “Double Shot (Of My Baby’s Love) considered by many to be-the greatest frat/rock song of all time. Jeff Eats absolutely loves the song. My favorite frat/rock songs (in no particular order) are- Double Shot, May I, Louie Louie, What Kind Of Fool (Do You Think I Am) and Hey Baby. For what it’s worth the Swingin’ Medallions play killer versions of all of them…

I LOVE THIS BAND. You will love this band. Your guests will love this band

Hope the above helps you out.