Humor!

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leaned out the window and asked the shepherd… “If I tell you exactly how
many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?” The shepherd
looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully
grazing flock and calmly answered “sure”.

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it
to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he
called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then
opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.

He sent an email on his iPad and, after a few minutes, received a
response. Finally, he printed out a 130-page report on his miniaturized
printer then turn to the shepherd and said, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.
“That is correct; take one of the sheep.” said the shepherd. He watched
the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd said: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is,
will you give me back my animal?”, “OK, why not.” answered the young man.

“Clearly, you are a consultant.” said the shepherd. “That’s correct.” said
the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required.” answered
the shepherd. “You turned up here although nobody called you. You wanted to
get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and
you don’t know crap about my business…… Now give me back my dog.

This contest started on 5/2/23. This contest has a winner.

* Win 2-$10 Chick-fil-A Gift Cards.

Jeff Eats got 2-$10 Chick-fil-A Gift Cards to give to one of you guys…

The game- the first 20 “reader-comments” received – will be entered in a “blind hat pick”! You can submit as many comments as you’d like but- Please, only 1- reader comment – per day…play fair!

The 2-$10 Gift Cards are good at any Chick-fil-A location (chick-fil-a.com for locations, menus, prices, info).

Skillets Boca, 7036 West Palmetto Park Road, Boca Raton, Florida 33433, (561) 931-2883.

Real simple tale to tell, this past Saturday morning Jeff Eats and a couple of old friends ate breakfast at Skillets- a breakfast/lunch American diner in Boca Raton and I gotta tell you guys- this joint won’t be seeing Jeff Eats again!

Let me set the stage for you guys…breakfast/lunch diner open 7 days a week 7am-2:30pm, inside counter and table seating/ handful of outside tables, hillbilly wood decor, large breakfast-lunch egg/ pancake/ waffle/ soup/ salad/ wrap/ sandwich (think IHOP and you’ll be on the right page!) menu, very pleasant service! Just so you know, Skillets currently has 16 Florida joints!

Long Story short, our order consisted of:

1 Western Omelet ($13.50) (Jeff Eats’ order)
2 Corned Beef Hash Skillets ($29.90) (Couple Of Old Friends’ orders)
2 Regular Coffees ($6.50)
Total With Tax ($53.41)
Total With Tax & Tip ($64)

Straight up I am telling you guys that the western omelet that was delivered to me- ranks right up there with the worst western omelets I have ever eaten! Picture if you can, a virtually colorless super thin flat omelet witch had absolutely no taste whatsoever! It was so bad, that after two bites, I was done! Now I’m no expert on facial expressions, but when the waitress came to clear the table, the look on her face (at least to me) as she took my plate away was saying WTF? Now as for Jeff Eats’ couple of old friends, let’s just say that I didn’t hear any rave reviews from them while they were eating nor after we had left Skillets! We all agreed that for 64 bucks- we could have done much better price and eating wise at most of the tons of other American breakfast-lunch joints that dot the Boca Raton landscape!

Let me wrap Skillets up by saying- what I like you may hate and vice versa…

You can check menu/prices/locations/info at skilletsrestaurants.com.

***** DISH OF THE WEEK (Sunday- 4/30/23- Luke’s New York Bagel Shop).

One of Jeff Eats’ favorite menu items…

PIZZA BAGEL
($7.50- toasted everything bagel topped with melted provolone and pepperoni)

Luke’s New York Bagel Shop
620 South Main Street
Gainesville
(732) 278-9557
lukesnybagels.com
Latest Review: 1/13/23

Absolutely awesome bagels/ breakfast & deli bagel sandwiches/ cream sandwiches!

Posted on January 13th, 2023.

***** Luke’s New York Bagel Shop, 620 South Main Street, Gainesville, Florida 32601, (732)278-9557.

Got an absolutely terrific bagel joint for you guys to check-out, Luke’s New York Bagel Shop in Gainesville.

Real simple tale, yesterday- Jeff Eats and Mrs. Jeff Eats “discovered” Luke’s New York Bagel Shop and I gotta tell you, off the chart delicious bagels. Simple concept, order/pickup at outside window, no seating, bagels/ breakfast & deli bagel sandwiches/ cream cheese menu, open Tuesday-Sunday 7am-1pm/ closed Monday.

Let’s wrap-up Luke’s New York Bagel Shop by saying- that its bagels/ bagel sandwiches/ cream cheeses are right up there with the best in Florida!

This joint is an absolute must try!

This contest started on 4/28/23. This contest has a winner.

* Win A $25 Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante Gift Card.

Jeff Eats got a $25 Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante Gift Card to give to one of you guys!

The game- the first 25 “reader-comments” received – will be entered in a “blind hat pick”! You can submit as many comments as you’d like but- Please, only 1- reader comment – per day…play fair!

The $25 Gift Card is good at Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante, 7491 North Federal Highway, Boca Raton. Florida 33487, (561) 852-9290.

You can check menu/prices/info at bellaamiciboca.com.

Posted on March 2nd, 2023

***** Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante, 7491 North Federal Highway, Boca Raton. Florida 33487, (561) 852-9290.

Got a real good “mom & pop” red sauce Italian joint for you guys to checkout- Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante in Boca Raton.

Long story short, last night Jeff Eats and Mrs. Jeff Eats “discovered” Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante and the joint’s food absolutely killed! Handful of inside & outside tables/ inside counter seating, no frills pizza joint decor, reasonably priced appetizers/ pizzas/ pastas/ hot & cold heros/ entrees/ desserts/ daily specials/ beer & wine menu, open Tuesday-Thursday 11:30am-9pm/ Friday-Saturday noon-10pm/ closed Monday.

Just so you know, Bella Amici’s food totally blew Jeff Eats and Mrs. Jeff Eats away! I gotta rate this joint right up there with the best “mom & pop” red sauce Italian joints that we have eaten at in Florida. Just so we are straight- if you’re looking for fancy schmancy- Bella Amici is absolutely-positively not going to work for you! I’m talking here- tee shirts/shorts/flip flops, pizzas, pastas, mussels marinara, lasagna, wings, fried calamari, strombolis, heros, antipasto salad, garlic knots, tartufos, endless Coca Cola refills and loads of napkins!

Let’s wrap Bella Amici Pizzeria & Restaurante up by saying- you can check menu/prices/info at bellaamiciboca.com.

This contest started on 4/2723. This contest has a winner.

* Win A Ramones T-Shirt.

Jeff Eats got a Ramones T-Shirt to give to one of you guys…

The game- the first 20 “reader-comments” received – will be entered in a “blind hat pick”! You can submit as many comments as you’d like but- Please, only 1- reader comment – per day…play fair!

Ramones T-Shirt (Retail Value: $21)

Official Ramones Merchandise
100% Cotton
Black Ramones Shirt
Preshrunk, Fits True to Size
Sizes Available: small, medium, large, x-large, 2x-large, 3x-large

This contest started on 4/27/23. This contest has a winner.

* Win A $10 Bagel City South Gift Card.

Jeff Eats got a $10 Bagel City South Gift Card to give to one of you guys!

The game- the first 10 “reader-comments” received – will be entered in a “blind hat pick”! You can submit as many comments as you’d like but- Please, only 1- reader comment – per day…play fair!

The $10 Gift Card is good at Bagel City South, 6006 Southwest 18th Street, Boca Raton, Florida 33433, (561) 393-5383.

You can check menu/prices/info at bagelcitysouthbocaraton.com.

Posted on October 26th, 2015

***** Bagel City South, 6006 Southwest 18th Street, Boca Raton, Florida 33433, (561) 393-5383.

In recent days, Jeff Eats has seen a number of tractor trailers loaded with cars with New York and New Jersey license plates- unloading their “cargo”- so to save time, let me answer the inevitable “best bagels” questions by reprinting this Jeff Eats’ article from February 23, 2015…
____

Posted February 23, 2015

***** Bagel City South.

Jeff Eats recently received this e-mail…

Jeff,
Long time reader.
I know you don’t like or really do ‘best’ lists.
Indulge me, if it came down to just one south Florida joint, which one would it be for bagels?
I won’t tell anyone.
Thanks,
Anthony Franza
____

Anthony Franza,

You know that ‘best’ lists really aren’t my game…that said, if you promise not to tell anyone!

And- thanks for reading.

Posted on February 22nd, 2008

***** Bagel City South–6006 SW 18th Street, Boca Raton, Florida 33433–(561) 393-5383

Bagel City South makes some of the best New York styled bagels and bialys in South Florida. The stuff is made the old fashioned way, that being hand rolled, boiled and then oven baked.

The joint is open 7 days a week for breakfast and lunch. Great place for appetizing, burgers, deli, eggs and of course those fantastic bagels/bialys.

Sassy waitresses and talkative countermen add to the New York flavor. This is a real good one.

Originally posted on March 30th, 2023.

* Comedian- Julia Scotti.

TICKETS JUST WENT ON SALE!

Jeff Eats and Mrs. Jeff Eats have seen Julia Scotti’s standup act three times- and trust me, funnnnny!

Don’t miss her.

By the way, the bet here- is SRO for both shows- so do what you gotta do on the ticket front!

Comedian- Julia Scotti

Saturday, April 29th, 2023 (7pm & 9pm)

Boca Black Box
8221 Glades Road Suite #10,
Boca Raton, Florida 33434
Box Office: 483.9036
Tickets: ($32-$37) bocablackbox.com (check goldstar.com for discount tickets)

From bocablackbox.com:

Julia Scotti is a remarkably busy lady. In addition to performing standup coast to coast, you have seen her on AGT, the “Today Show with Hoda and Jenna” and on Showtime where she was featured on the “More Funny Women of a Certain Age” special. Susan Sandler’s acclaimed documentary “Julia Scotti; Funny that Way” now streaming is a clear winner. Her latest comedy album “Primal Cuts” and her Dry Bar Comedy Special “Jersey Fresh” are out now while her first album “Hello Boys, I’m Back!” is still climbing and available for download. Clips from Primal Cuts have recently been added to Raw Dog and She’s So Funny channels on SiriusXM. She is the current host of the podcast Comedy Centric.You can see Julia starring as Joy in the short film drama “Relatable Joy,” in the Judd
Apatow/Universal Pictures film “Bros,” starring Billy Eichner and soon to be seen in the upcoming film tentatively titled “Untitled Pregnancy” with Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau. Her press kit continues to grow and she had a featured interview in HUSTLER Magazine October 2021.Simon Cowell said, “you genuinely made me laugh!” and Julia continues to remain a fan favorite of America’s Got Talent audiences around the world. She has been named one of the Top Five Transgendered Comedians in the Country by Advocate Magazine.

This contest started on 4/24/23. This contest has a winner.

* Win A $20 Jaxson’s Ice Cream Parlor & Restaurant Gift Card.

Jeff Eats got a $20 Jaxson’s Ice Cream Parlor & Restaurant Gift Card to give to one of you guys…

The game- the first 20 “reader-comments” received – will be entered in a “blind hat pick”! You can submit as many comments as you’d like but- Please, only 1- reader comment – per day…play fair!

The $20 Gift Card is good at Jaxson’s Ice Cream Parlor & Restaurant, 128 South Federal Highway, Dania Beach, Florida 33004. You can check menu/info at jaxsonsicecream.com.

Posted on April 24th, 2008 ·

***** Jaxson’s Ice Cream Parlor, 128 South Federal Highway, Dania Beach , Florida 33004, (954) 023-4445.

Jaxson’s has been around something like 50 years. This is one of the greatest joints in all of South Florida, not to mention the United States, to get great home-made ice cream. The Food Channel has done several stories on Jaxson’s.

Decorated in Early American License Plate, Jaxson’s is located in a non-descript strip-shopping center in Dania Beach. The joint is packed day and night with people stuffing their faces with some of the most delicious ice cream that you have ever tasted. The portions are enormous and “individual” servings can feed 1-2-3 people. Jaxson’s also does, burgers, hot dogs, salads etc., but the game here is ICE CREAM. Personally, my favorite is a waffle with a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of mocha chip. That single dish, is big enough to serve 2-3 people. Be smart and don’t over order here, because (1) you will be wasting a ton of great ice cream and (2) you will be wasting a ton of money.

I am telling you that you absolutely positively want to try this joint. The ice cream and food are great…the atmosphere is terrific…the service is terrific…and the “penny candy” assortment at the front of the joint will have you reminiscing about 1950’s Brooklyn-Bronx-Queens (etc,).

There are always lines waiting to get in and for take-out. Jaxson’s is open 7-days a week…Monday-Thursday 11:30am-11pm…Friday-Saturday 11:30am- midnight…Sunday noon-11pm.

***** DISH OF THE WEEK (Sunday- 4/23/23- Biergarten).

One of Jeff Eats’ favorite menu items…

POTATO PANCAKES WITH APPLE SAUCE
($8)

Biergarten
309 Via de Palmas
Boca Raton
(561) 395-7462
biergartenboca.com
Latest Review: 2/27/12

Jeff Eats and Mrs. Jeff Eats “discovered” Biergarten in 2012- and I gotta tell you guys, that we have been steady customers ever since! Just between us- it’s one of South Florida’s best sports bars- serves off the chart delicious food, features a line-up of top notch bands/ entertainment/ events and has great service.

This joint is an absolute must try!

Posted on February 27th, 2012.

***** Biergarten, 309 Via de Palmas, Boca Raton, Florida 33432, (561) 395-7462.

Last Saturday night around 10pm my wife and I- and another couple stopped by a German “bar-restaurant”—Biergarten in Boca Raton. The joint has indoor seating/huge outdoor patio seating. Real simple concept–tons of different beers, wines, specialty drinks—menu loaded with appetizers, burgers, salads, sandwiches, tacos, German style wursts-schnitzels-and other dishes—local bands and djs. The joint looks like “what” I guess a German beer garden in Germany is suppose to look like and the staff wears German beer garden costumes (I think!). You can check menu/prices at www.biergartenboca.com.

What a cool place!. It was JAMMED and I do mean JAMMED! I’m gonna bet here, that half the crowd was FAU/Lynn students. Although it was approaching “my” bedtime, I still “tried” a steak slider, bbq pork slider, pastrami slider, kielbasa, potato pancakes—and I’m telling you straight up, the food was absolutely dynamite. Absolutely some of the best “bar” stuff I’ve had in a very very long time. A great dj was spinning all-types of music and I understand that the bands that work the joint, play classic rock, reggae and new stuff.

Suffice it to say, the “kids” there were having an absolute blast–and us 4 old geezers did the same. Boy! If Ithaca, New York had a joint like Biergarten back in 1966-1970–just maybe, I wouldn’t have been so anxious to graduate from Ithaca College-to get back to Brooklyn. In all fairness, Bobby Comstock & The Counts was a great band, but if memory serves me right, the food at the Dewitt Clinton Hotel where they worked- wasn’t even in the same breath as Biergarten’s grub.

Biergarten hasn’t been around for very long. I’m guessing here, but I think something like 6 months. The joint is located in the “Pink Plaza” in Boca Raton…the spot that it’s in- has over the years-housed more restaurants than you can shake a stick at. I maybe going out on a limb here, but I think that the landlord has finally found a long-term tenant.

Let me close by saying, no matter how old or for that matter young you are—you gotta try Biergarten.

Biergarten is open Sunday-Monday 11am-midnight, Tuesday-Saturday 11am-2am.