Every Oreo Cookie Flavor, Ranked
* Every Oreo Cookie Flavor, Ranked.
Jeff Eats recently came across this “Every Oreo Cookie Flavor, Ranked” article on thrillist.com…I’m kinda thinking that lists-like this come-about- when somebody has got way too much time on his/or her hands.
To be perfectly honest with you guys, Jeff Eats really-didn’t know that all of these Oreo “flavors” even existed…
As they say in Helsinki…You live and you learn!
Every Oreo Cookie Flavor, Ranked
Published on 7/27/2015
By Lee Breslouer
Other than craft beer in a can, The Bachelorette, and the NFL, there is no greater American invention than the Oreo. But every Oreo is not created equal. There are actually a stunning 25 flavors, some of which bear little to no resemblance to the cookie your grandparents loved. And some that do, because they probably ate Hydrox.
Which of the 25 Oreo (fun fact: the plural of Oreo is “Oreo”) is the best? To find out, I tracked down every available flavor, including the harder-to-find ones on Amazon, eBay, and Walmart.com. No Fudge Cremes though — we don’t consider them a true Oreo, what with all that fudge on top of them. Here they are, ranked from good to best.
I love Oreo. And I love my job. But I’m not dying for either. I’m severely allergic to strawberries, son! That said, who was clamoring for a strawberry/raspberry Oreo?
24. Mega Stuf (Golden Cookie)
See: chocolate cookie Mega Stuf (#23), with the added fact that the vanilla creme overpowers the subtle vanilla cookie (aka the Golden Cookie, which is how we’re referring to it in the rest of this ranking).
23. Mega Stuf (Chocolate Cookie)
When I go to an ice cream shop, I don’t ask them to spray a pound of whipped cream on my ice cream, because I’m an adult. I crave subtler flavors. The amount of creme here is just too much of a good thing.
22. Chocolate Creme (Golden Cookie)
Oh look, a golden sandwich cookie with chocolate creme in the middle. This might have blown people’s minds in the early aughts, but today’s consumers have birthday cake Oreo, Reese’s Oreo, and a bunch of other Oreo that take the Oreo formula to new heights and challenge what you think an Oreo actually is.
21. Chocolate Creme (Chocolate Cookie)
I love chocolate, and that’s the only flavor here. Chocolate cookies and chocolate creme. So I was expecting to love it… but that didn’t happen. Since the Oreo debuted, chocolate flavors have come a long way. I routinely eat 85% dark chocolate bars from national and local artisanal producers. The variety of chocolate out there has turned me, and much of America, into a chocolate snob. Nowadays, if you’re only giving me basic chocolate flavors, they better knock my socks off.
20. Birthday Cake (Chocolate Cookie)
This makes me sad about birthdays. And it’s strange to be typing that, because you’ll see another version of the same exact cookie that Oreo made much higher in this ranking. The chocolate and birthday sprinkle-laden creme just don’t mix to create beautiful Oreo harmony here like they should. Instead, it feels like there was an accident at the Oreo factory and sprinkles accidentally were added to one of the more perfect cookies ever created.
19. Reduced Fat
“30% less fat than original Oreo!” the box exclaims. On the plus side, it tastes like a regular Oreo! But to me — either you eat an Oreo or you don’t. I don’t think this 30% fat reduction is making anyone less chubby, but whatever helps you sleep at night.
18. Oreo Thins (Mint Creme)
Something that has the words “thin” and “mint” in the name and isn’t a Thin Mint? That’s just mean. This is as much a Thin Mint as a wax figure in Madame Tussaud’s is the real thing.
17. Regular Oreo
I’m bored with these. As a kid, I wanted nothing more than for my mom to bring home normal, American-as-apple-pie Oreo cookies. I never got that wish, and ended up eating them at the homes of less-healthy families. As an adult, I’ve eaten a billion different flavors of these things, and have found the original to be lacking. I’m not saying the two chocolate cookies and vanilla aren’t still delicious, but I’ve changed, Oreo. And I need something more in a cookie.
16. Oreo Thins (Golden Cookie)
If for some reason I had forgotten what the consistency of a Nilla Wafer cookie felt like, I could be convinced that this was a Nilla Wafer cookie. And that’s not a bad thing. Crush these things up and put them in my banana pudding.
Refreshing! The mint has a pleasant aftertaste. And the chocolate cookie and the mint play off each other splendidly. The problem is that this hint of mint just makes me want to have some real mint action in the form of a mojito. An even bigger problem is that I’m supposed to be working and not drinking a mojito. Whatever, getting one anyways.
This has two golden cookies sandwiched around lemon creme, which means it only resembles an Oreo in shape, and not at all in taste. It’s like a Vanilla Wafer someone spilled lemon juice on.
This is mad boring — it’s just a regular Oreo that’s subbed two chocolate cookies for two vanilla ones (aka the Golden Cookies). But I recognize its importance in the Oreo game, because without this cookie, you couldn’t get amazing other varieties that utilize the vanilla cookie. This is the Oreo lineup’s utility player, like Ben Zobrist of the Oakland A’s (or so Google tells me).
12. Heads or Tails Double Stuf
This is the Oreo for those indecisive jerks you know who can never make a decision. Do I eat the Golden Oreo or the plain? Oh, the struggles these people go through every day. Clearly Oreo is catering to these people, and this experiment is… actually a success. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a vanilla cookie and a chocolate cookie go so well together.
11. Triple Double
This is a chocolate creme Oreo stacked on top of a vanilla creme Oreo with three chocolate Oreo cookies. It’s the Oreo version of a Big Mac. And it’s good, but holy geez when you take a bite, watch out for crumbs. I mean, it’s like a crumb bomb exploded in your kitchen. Or your bathroom, or wherever you hide when you feel guilty for eating a whole package of Oreo cookies.
10. Oreo Thins
“Awww, wook at the witty-bitty Oreo,” I definitely said to myself as I cradled this tiny version of the cookie. Then I bit into it and thought about this thin Oreo a little more. So, they’re just giving you less of the cookie you know and love? Why would I pay for that? Because sometimes less is more. You get all of that Oreo flavor, plus the possibility of eating a sleeve of these in one sitting: if I eat a regular Oreo or three, I’m usually set, but I can inhale a few handfuls of these and not even blink. More is more, too.
9. Double Stuf (Golden Cookie)
Exactly like the Double Stuf Oreo with chocolate cookies, but not as good. Still pretty good! If Mega Stuf is too much creme and normal Oreo is the right amount of creme, Double Stuf is a little more than the right amount of creme. That makes sense, right?
8. Double Stuf (Chocolate Cookie)
The Double Stuf Oreo is a uniquely American product. Nabisco went all McDonald’s on the Oreo and Super-Sized the creme. It’s an original product — I didn’t know I needed more creme in my Oreo until this came along. The only knock is that Eli Manning was once paid to endorse this product, and as a lifelong Eagles fan, I cannot in good conscience enjoy this. I mean, it’s good and everything, but I don’t like it.
7. Key Lime Pie
I opened many Oreo boxes to do this story, and I’ve not yet remarked on how the Oreo cookies smell. Probably because there’s not much of a scent. But the second you crack open these limited-edition suckers, the smell hits you. And it smells unmistakably like Key lime pie, or lime Powerade (of which I’m a huge fan). The taste is pretty dead on — I’m not getting a ton of action from the graham-flavored cookie, but the Key lime is very much there. There are even whipped cream notes in the back end. Nabisco must’ve done some serious cookie-science to create these flavors.
6. Peanut Butter
This Oreo is the new girlfriend of your friend who clearly only started dating her because she looks just like his ex — I say that because this is a straight up Reese’s Oreo clone. Because the Reese’s Oreo was a limited-time cookie, this is here in its place. Don’t worry, you can still find Reese’s Oreo on eBay and whatnot. Anyways, it falls a little short, because a copy will never be as good as the original. If Michael Keaton were an Oreo and his movie Multiplicity was about a guy who clones cookies again and again, this would be the second or third Michael Keaton — not super dumb, but also not the original. That said, you’ll always win points with me for combining chocolate and peanut butter.
Oreo nails the marshmallow flavor here. One bite and I’m in front of a bonfire, being bitten by mosquitoes, surrounded by people I don’t like that much, wishing I was at home watching Family Matters. But seriously, the graham cracker cookie, the chocolate, and the marshmallow flavors here all combine with spectacular results.
4. Birthday Cake (Golden Cookie)
Pretty sure they melted down a birthday cake into a cookie, because I don’t know how else they nailed the taste so hard. If I didn’t know what I’d just eaten, the aftertaste would make me think I was just at a kid’s birthday party. It’s uncanny.
3. Oreo Mini
If I’d had these as a kid, I would have been obese. Now that I have them as an adult, I still might become obese unless I throw them away. As a kid, though, I’d have eaten them for breakfast floating in a bowl of milk, for lunch also floating in a bowl of milk, and for dinner I would’ve just shoveled handfuls into my face. They figured out how to pack all that Oreo flavor into a smaller package. Genius!
2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Sure, this kind isn’t on supermarket shelves anymore, but you can easily track a box down online. And I recommend that you do. Because as I wrote in my taste-test last year, the cookie features “delicious, lingering Reese’s notes when you’re done eating the Oreo” — an aftertaste only superseded by lingering Reese’s notes when you’re done eating a Reese’s. But you’re not! You get that glorious Oreo crunch and a tasty peanut butter flavor. It doesn’t get much better than this. Unless it’s the Oreo at #1.
1. Reese’s Oreo Mini
I could eat a million of these. OK, who am I kidding, I ate a million of these. I bought the family-size box and now I probably weigh as much as an entire American family. These are bite-sized peanut butter/chocolate bombs that have that signature Oreo crunch, and they are incredible. I want to blend them into a milkshake. I want to fashion a hat made out of these and eat one or two from my head whenever I need a snack. I want to hold this box close to my heart so that its goodness can repair the damage the world has done to it. Bottom line: get thee to your local supermarket.