Posted on September 29th, 2014 · Music/Events/Other



Jeff Eats has been down here in sunny South Florida for over 22 years…you-know the land of Boards of Directors and Home Owner Associations.

Let me ask you guys something and you be honest…

Hypothetically speaking-If you needed triple heart bypass surgery would you let the Chairman of the Board of IBM who was a graduate of Harvard College, Harvard Law School and the Wharton School of Business with a BA in accounting, JD degree and a Masters & Doctorate in Calculus perform the operation for nothing?

___________(fill in answer).

Then why the hell do you guys entrust the operation of your Country Clubs, Condos, Co-ops, Neighborhoods to some guy or gal who is- some retired NYC school teacher, retired owner of a dry cleaning chain, housewife, retired shoe salesman, president of a men’s clothing chain?

Now no offense intended to you board members…but what do most of you guys know about…construction, bank financing, booking bands, maintenance, home owner rights, contracts, hiring contractors, décor design, landscaping?

______________(fill in answer).

Quick story, in my neighborhood one of the sub-divisions was missing the letter “S” from its entrance-way sign. In the time it took the HOA to get the “S” replaced, GL Homes probably built 5,000 homes in Delray Beach from scratch.

Trust me I know the BOD and HOA game and if you ask me…it’s a real dumb game.

Once again, no insult intended to you board members, but did you ever notice that by in large- the really top-guys in your communities DON’T GET INVOLVED AND AREN’T ON YOUR BOARDS? Wanna know why?-because they don’t want to get involved (especially for no compensation) with a bunch of yentas (Google if necessary) who actually think that they can out negotiate Comcast, and build entrance ways without having formal construction or engineering backgrounds.

I know, I know, that the “rules” say someone has to do it…just ask yourself, what makes you qualified to be that SOMEONE?

Finally, all Jeff Eats knows, is that if you ain’t on a BOARD…your neighbors won’t hate your guts because- 1. you raised the dues, 2. you hired a crap comedian, 3. you fined them for speeding, 4. you fined them for flying a US Flag, 5. you got the Club/Condo/Co-op into a law suit, 6. you hired a crooked contractor, 7. the complimentary bagels at the gym suck, 8. you violated Federal law as it pertains to service animals, 9. you ticketed them for parking in the street over night, 10. you signed an absurd lopsided contract with some property management company…

When you lived in that 6 story apartment building on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn, you paid your rent and bitched to Leo The Super to make repairs and waited every 3-years for a new paint job. Now that you’ve moved to Sunny South Florida…many of you in essence became the “landlord”-that you grew up hating your whole lives.

Okay, done with that rant…but I will close by telling you. that ANYONE WHO SITS ON A GRIEVANCE COMMITTEE IS A FOOL…and I am dead serious here!

America’s entire justice system is based on fairness to all parties- and there is no way in HELL that neighbors who KNOW each other-can judge each other fairly!…and you can take that to the bank!

As Jeff Eats’ grandmother Grandmother Jeff Eats use to say…”YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR” and “CHEAP IS CHEAP.”


  1. slip mahoney says...

    my NYC coop is controlled by original tenants who bought in when the building went coop. Years later these BOD pass judgment as to who can buy in etc and most of them aren’t qualified to live there under the standards they now have. Its a total mess.

  2. SHAP says...

    Unfortunately my neighborhood has an HOA.
    The geniuses got us into a crap contract with Comcast which still has 6 years to run.
    The geniuses hired a mgt company to handle lawn etc. The mgt company subbed the job out when the HOA could have gone direct to the vendor for 30% cheaper for the same work.
    The BOD put in new trees which have branches falling all the time so your car parked on the street gets damaged.
    The list is endless.
    Not going to name names etc.
    The 5 member BOD has 3 retired housewives on it, and 2 men who currently work, 1 in the auto sales business and the other in tv adv sales.
    I must mention that we have 7 Florida lawyers, 4 medical doctors, the retired president of a health care company, 6 investment bankers also in the neighborhood and not one of them has ever been on the BOARD or for that matter ever attended a meeting to my knowledge. As you mentioned, the smart folks or at least those with some related background stay away from this stuff.

  3. Tony Valentine says...

    Your observations are right on the money.
    The HOA BOD has absolutely no expertise. As a result it hires companies to run communities. Now if the companies they hire are lousy the HOA members lacking knowledge don’t know it. That’s why you see all kinds of screwed up jobs in Florida and elsewhere and lawsuits. If you are blind you cant see.

  4. ZED says...

    Anyone who lives in a neighbrhood with an HOA is a fool.
    Rules this and rules that. These condo commanders never let up. They have way too much time on their hands.

  5. Shelly H says...

    The best and the brightest stay far away, so mediocrity rules. As bad as the HOA’s and Condo Assns are here in Florida, the Co-Ops in NYC make them seem golden by comparison. I have a friend that waited over a year to get a mortgage on a NYC co-op because the assn couldn’t get their act together or lost papers sending them from one board member to another.

  6. LODI says...

    You da man!
    You always speak what many think.
    These HOA are an absolute joke.
    You are so right about grievance committees there is no way that one neighbor can fairly judge another.

  7. Anthony Franza says...

    Anyone with an ounce of common sense stays away from these BOARDS. These BOARDS have more committees jerking themselves off than you could ever imagine.

  8. BOARD says...

    No names no real facts.
    You know who I am.
    It would be fair to say that I was once the CEO of one of the largest retailers in the United States, not to mention (but I will) a licensed attorney and a current Board member of 3 public companies.
    I live in a community which has an HOA.
    Let’s leave it at this, in the 30 years I’ve lived there other than 4 people that come to mind not one of the past or present current board members would ever have been considered to work for me.
    HOA bring out the pettiness in people and you really appreciate that most of them really have little or no knowledge on the subjects that they decide on.
    That’s the game and we are stuck with it and all of the assessments and problems that these folks create.

  9. Stang says...

    The ineptness of our HOA and Country Club’s BODs resulted in massive construction flaws., assessments and huge lawsuits.
    There is no question in my mind that it was BOD lack of knowledge and business sense that got the Country Club and Home Owners into the messes in the first place.
    It seems that the brightest in the community very rarely if ever, get involved with these Boards.

  10. KSR says...

    HOA are one of the worse developments in
    history of real estate. Just think of a bunch of unqualified non compensated people making decisions for others on matters they know othing about.

  11. Bill from Delray says...

    OK… let’s look at this from another perspective. If you’re a lawyer, CEO, doctor or other professional, and you aren’t involved in the governance of your HOA/condo board, then shame on you. If you’re not a part of the solution then you’re a part of the problem. Don’t complain about decisions and contracts if you’re not willing to get involved. It burns me that you Monday morning quarterbacks can sit there waving your fingers at the work that the boards do without walking a mile in their shoes.
    I am the president of my condo association. Why? Simple… because nobody else is willing to take the job. I get calls at all hours. I fight with landscapers and contractors. I have to attend classes and meetings to satisfy the requirements that the State of Florida dictates. Am I appreciated – probably not. I don’t do it for the recognition. I do it because it has to be done.
    Don’t knock volunteers. We are the machinery that keeps these places running. Don’t like how we do it…. then get your sorry asses off your couches and get involved.
    Just my viewpoint from this side of the board table.

    • Cal E says...

      See Bill you answered all of your own Questions, see where you said ‘I fight with landscapers and contractors…’ You really shouldn’t be on the HOA no less its President. The term is negotiate not fight.
      You do this not because you have to its because you want to.

      No question you volunteers keep places like these running, unfortunately most of you folks have them running like old jalopies.

      In all fairness there is no answer to the BOD HOA dilemma.

      So keep up the work and the fighting.

    • Shelly H says...

      Bill, the really smart Boards hire management companies so they have one contact point, whether its landscaping, contractors, plumbers, cable contracts, etc. Then people like yourself with minimal or no experience in these matters can look to pros to get the job done. Remember the old Army adage. Keep you head down and don’t stick out.

      • NICKY G says...

        Shelly H,
        The problem with many of these property management companies is that they are crooks. Their in house staffs stink and they usually sub the work out which is then marked up huge in price to the HOA.
        This HOA setup is a totally disaster most of the time. Unfortunately a load of communities are stuck with this type of GOVERNMENT.

        • Shelly H says...

          True, but thats the Boards real job. Check the Management Company out by using referalls, get competing bids. Being on the Board means you are running the business of the Condo or HOA. It’s nobody’s hobby.

  12. GETREALPEOPLE says...

    I live in a CC.
    It seems that after someone is on the BOD and ends their term they move. I have never seen a bigger bunch of screw-ups in my life.
    We once had a President who walked around the community and randomly had speed bumps installed. No rhyme or reason but they were all over the place. For sure they stopped speeders but they also prevented Fire trucks from getting in fast. The speed bumps were eventually removed and he and his wife moved.

  13. Sellers says...

    You hit the nail right on the head.
    The really sharp people who live in these neighborhoods don’t get involved.
    To tell you the truth, I could run my HOA from my home’s den and spend maybe 20 minutes a day in total doing it.
    I am now retired but in my prime I was the CEO of a REIT which had 600 properties which included shopping centers, free standing buildings, you name it.
    There is very little that I don’t know about construction, zoning, landscaping, licensing etc.
    The reason I don’t get involved is because I don’t play well with others. I absolutely refuse to have some retired school teacher, retired pharmacist, retired medical doctor tell me that
    since they ‘built’ their dream house they are experts on sod, roofs, wiring, you name it.

    HOA are what they are. Not much!

  14. mark says...

    want to see a board that had real estate developers, lawyers and insurance executives on the board

  15. Lou G says...

    Here’s a good one for you.
    The country club I live in has all kinds of committees. No question in my mind that the BOD and mgt pay no attention to them but they do it for show.
    A few years ago the entertainment committee recommended that a certain comedian be booked. One of the people on the committee personally knew the comedian and spoke to him directly. The comedian agreed to a $4500 fee and said just have the social director call him direct. The Manager was told the above and told the social director to use an agent to book the comedian. The comedian was booked through the agent with the CC paying $6250.
    Florida is not the only area where incompetents run the asylums.

  16. Eddie Theisman says...

    All I know is that after they screw up where I live BOD members have a track record of moving out about 1 year after they are off the BOD. These people go from community screwing up things.

  17. PAC says...

    Your IBM story is right on point. Just because you are good at one thing doesn’t mean you will be good at a totally different thing.

    They are called condo commanders.

    They have way too much time on their hands.

  18. haveitin says...

    jeff, you sure seem to really have it in for hoa and bod, how come?

    • JeffEats says...


      Just had a chance to read your comments.

      Jeff Eats is very familiar with country clubs, condos, co-ops, bod and hoa.

      Over the years, I have lived in several country club communities, co-op and condo communities.

      I will tell you as an attorney and businessmen, I have seen “behavior” “rules” “decisions” that borderline on being criminally insane.

      For starters, I’ve seen grievance hearings that denied the parties the most basic rights afforded under the United States Constitution. For some reason the rules of evidence are seldom employed at these hearings. These hearings are an insult to the American justice system.

      I have seen business decisions made that were so absurd that they were mind boggling.

      The list is endless, so I’ll leave it at that.

      Unfortunately, the way things are setup-BOD and HOA are here to stay. There is very little that can be done to correct a system which enlists the non experienced, untrained, ill informed to run things.

      That’s the way I see things…

      • Anthony Franza says...

        You are so right.
        In my CC the guards are allowed to give out speeding tickets.
        I got a ticket.
        I requested that the guard who gave me the ticket be at the hearing.
        I also requested that I be allowed to have the radar gun checked by an expert.
        I was told that the CC doesn’t pay guards overtime to come to hearings so no guard.
        I was also told by the head pf the grievance committee and I quote “The radar gun works just fine so you can’t have it checked.”
        Some fair trial!!!!!!!!!!!
        I went, couldn’t question anybody and got fined 100 bucks.
        Talk about violating the rules of America’s justice system.
        HOA suck.

        • ZAK says...

          I got you beat by a mile. I got a grievance filed against me claiming my dog crapped on a lawn and I didn’t clean it up. And I don’t even have a dog.

  19. robertw says...

    Jeff how did you know my grandparents lived on ocean parkway? are you psychic or something 🙂

    • ZED says...

      Everybody’s grandparents lived on ocean parkway!

  20. Savales says...

    In our neighborhood we have a guard company which has a crew of guards that average about 11 bucks an hour. They all have guns. For crying out loud our cleaning lady makes more.
    Our neighborhood in essence is being guarded by McDonald’s

  21. Mike W says...

    Anyone who lives in a community with an HOA has in effect given up many of their constitutional rights. Very dumb system.

  22. Dante Edison says...

    Novices running a business. Just that simple.

  23. BOD STINK says...

    I live in a cc in Boca.
    It is so mismanaged that it is actually scary.
    We have BOD which consists of a group of people who are so incompetent that it boggles the senses.
    Everything the BOD recommends makes no sense whatsoever.
    You are so right that top people don’t get involved with being on these boards.

  24. Nick Greene says...

    You are on the money.
    Living with others making decisions is a very dumb move.
    I lived in a Country Club years ago and after I sold never ever went near an HOA or CC again.
    These boards draw the bottom of the barrel.

  25. JKL says...

    I live in a country club in Boca Raton.
    I’ve lived here for over 20 years.
    I can’t even begin to count the number of BOD members who have moved since they left the Board.
    They do their damage and then take off.
    In the past year 3 out of 9 members of the BOD moved.
    These BODs have no idea as to what they are doing.

  26. Louise Aranoff says...

    Our HOA has gotten us into so many lawsuits that it’s scary.

  27. Midwood Gal says...

    HOA s are run by morons.
    Most people who get involved with this crap should be on a psychiatrist’s couch.

  28. Ronnie Lewis says...

    I live in a CC in Boca.
    You want to see a bunch of morons?
    Come to one of our BOD meetings.
    These people couldn’t figure their way out of a paper bag.
    Anyone with any smarts never gets involved in BOD or Hoa and that’s a fact.

  29. Joe Carson says...

    We live in a country club which has a number of subdivisions. The sub HOA that we live in has people on it that are borderline NAZIS. They walk around checking everything and literally contact homeowners for every stupid thing imaginable. These people are out of their fu-king minds. These HOA are an absolute joke,

  30. Junior Tanner says...

    I called one of my neighbors an asshole. he filed a grievance. What is wrong with these people? What happened to the 1 st Amendment. These HOA/BOD Communities are an absolute joke. By the way, there was no penalty for calling the asshole and asshole. What a waste of time.

  31. Lynn T says...

    If you wanna see a f**ked up community come see mine. Not going to mention names but the BOD can’t even pick colors that match when it comes to decorating. Absolutely amazing. No one would believe this stuff isn’t all made up, but it isn’t.

  32. I live in a Miami Beach condo. These guy got parking rules that make NYC Alternate Street Parking Rules look good. An absolute bunch of assholes making rules.

  33. Carol Lynn says...

    All of the roofs in my neighborhood are grey. Now The BOD votes to paint them all white. I bought a grey roof not a white roof. Absurd.

  34. Dan F says...

    The BODs of country clubs and most HOAs are made up of the losers in the community.

    Just that simple.

    • Pissed Off says...

      No question about that. Absolute morons who think they know, but don’t.

  35. Susie S says...

    I live in a country club in Boca Raton.
    If you looked at the resumes of our BODs you would laugh your ass off.
    Not even one single member has any background whatsoever in construction, running a hotel or resort or restaurant or anything else that would come in handy.

  36. Allie K says...

    We got a CC BOD that are a pack of morons. You would be shocked at the errors they make. Then again, you probably wouldn’t.

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